It’s Not My Fault!

I get tired of hearing the standard refrain of “It’s not my fault”. I hear it too much.

“It’s not my fault I didn’t get out of bed.so I missed class.” or “It’s not my fault I flunked the test.” or “It’s not my fault I’m in jail.”

That phrase is wonderful because it transfers the responsibility from the individual to everyone else. It makes them feel as if they have no control over anything.

Unfortunately, they don’t seem to realize the world around them is controlled by the choices they make. If they choose to do nothing, they made a choice and their lives will go one way but if they decide to so something different at that point, life might go a different way.

To me when they use that phrase, they are trying to escape responsibility. If its not their fault they flunked the test, after all, the teacher made it too hard. In reality, they didn’t bother doing the work or studying for it. The phrase justifies their lack of effort.

When did it start? I don’t know but I’ve heard the use of the phrase increase over the past five years. I’ve been accused of “making” a student flunk a test or fail a class even thought they didn’t bother working.

Often times when a student gets far enough behind, they see no way of catching up. They then make no effort to catch up because “they’ve already failed” the class in their minds so it’s not worth the effort to catch up but if you can show them one paper at a time it can be done, they’ll try.

I’m also aware of the research regarding a person’s mindset in regard to subjects like mathematics. I know if I can change the mindset from “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m not a natural” to one of “I can do it” they are more open to learning but I don’t know how to apply that research to this attitude. It’s more insidious than “I can’t” because it is possible to have someone change that mindset but “It’s not my fault” is beyond “I can’t”.

I’ll keep looking for answers but until I can figure out how to counter the “Its not my fault” attitude, I see the students trapped in this pattern even after they get out of school. It means when they loose a job, they’ll justify the loss.

I know someone who always told me, “It’s not my fault, the owner felt threatened by my knowledge and ability.” or “It’s not my fault I lost that job, my boss didn’t know how to do the job right so when I tried to tell him how to do it, I was fired.” I don’t think he’s ever held a job for longer than a year or two.

I see many of these kids being trapped in a spiral caused by this attitude. I don’t know if they’ll ever break loose from it. I try but its something I’m not trained to handle.

I’d love to hear from anyone who might have a suggestion on countering this attitude. Have a great day and let me know what you think.